Powerball mania has taken over the country! The jackpot is currently at $900 million dollars. (For whatever reason, I’m reminded of that scene from Austin Powers) Now — lets do some math — after taxes, if you live in the state of California you could walk away with a lump sum of $418,500,000 or 30 payments a year of $22,500,000 for a total of $675,000,000. More money than a majority of folks would see in a lifetime unless you are Oprah.
I’m sure everyone is day dreaming of what to do with all of that money — but more importantly my mind ends up wandering about what stupid things that would happen if I won. Here we go —
- Go into work naked — just because I can.
- Write a book on the detailed strategies for winning lotteries.
- Promise a big trip to a bunch of people and hate it because I actually didn’t like those people.
- Probably buy a boat and then hire people to use it because I hate boats.
- I would try to Facebook friend other rich people because we would have something to talk about.
- Have a ski lift installed from my house in Danville to the top of Squaw
- Build a Safeway as an extension of my house so I never have to go grocery shopping ever again
- Convert to Judaism so that can have Phish play at my bar mitzvah I never had
- I would buy Costco so that I’d never have to excuse myself to get past someone trying to feed their entire family via Costco samples.
- I would hire the cast of “Full House” to work on my farm to care for my alpacas
- Would buy two 17k Apple Watches — one for my arm and one for my ankle. Ya never know how often i might need to know the time as I tie my shoe.
- Build a Scrooge McDuck money bin and then realize its super hard to swim in gold.
- Buy many billboards on 101 that says “Renato is One Hella Cool Dude”
- Buy the New England Patriots so you can fire Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. Then make the team play all their games in Manila, Philippines all season long.
- Build a Lego Star Destroyer the size of an airplane.
- Hire Steph curry to do his warm-up drills every morning as I drink coffee.
- Hire a Starbucks barista to follow me around.
- Hire Harrison Ford to drive me around in a car that looks like the Millennium Falcon.
- Play basketball with Obama and then we take my ski lift to Squaw
- Go to Las Vegas with the cast of The Hangover.
- Hire Kramer from Seinfeld to be my neighbor.
- Put caviar on my In and out burger.
- Eliminate daylight saving time.
I’ve acquired my tickets because — well, because why not?
Good luck to everyone!