Change is hard.  We all like the comfort of the familiar even when the familiar is not enjoyable.  That is how much work and energy change can take.  The gravity of life pulls toward stasis and inaction.  Thats why popular books like Atomic Habits say that small habits make a big difference over time.  Any action is better than inaction.  And ya know what is even harder?  Making change in a direction that that is “different”.  Taking the path less traveled.  Doing something that not everyone desires.  We are drawn to homogeneity.  Social media is the grand normalizer towards homogeneity.  We desire what is in our feed.  Embracing change and taking the path less traveled takes courage but the reward is growth, learning and insight. 

René Girard, a French historian, literary critic, and philosopher, is best known for his theory of mimetic desire. Girard posits that human desires are not innate but rather imitative; we desire objects because others desire them. This concept, known as mimetic desire, suggests that imitation is a fundamental aspect of human behavior, leading not only to competition and rivalry but also to conflict and violence. According to Girard, this cycle of imitation and rivalry can be observed in literature, history, and religion. His work has profound implications for understanding human behavior, social structures, and the mechanisms of violence. Girard’s theories challenge traditional views on desire and offer a unique lens through which to examine the dynamics of human relationships and societal conflicts. 

The theory of mimetic desire keeps us in our lanes.

When people ask me where I’m from I usually just tell them I’m from New York.  Its easy.  Everyone knows where New York is.  But in reality, I’ve spent most of my childhood in Connecticut.  Does anyone really know anything about Connecticut?  Fairfield County feels like another New York City borough and the rest of Connecticut  feels like an extension of Massachusetts with some insurance in Hartford and gambling near where they filmed Mystic Pizza.  My life journey started in Brooklyn, NY where I was born and then went through Queens, Manhattan, West Hartford Connecticut, Newtown Connecticut and then Ridgefield Connecticut.  I really enjoyed my childhood in Connecticut.  I’m pretty sure we were the only Asian family living in Ridgefield, Connecticut.  Us and another Asian family that owned the local Carvel Ice Cream store downtown.  We would go there for some soft serve and give each other the secret Asian handshake knowing there were not that many of us in this town.  Growing up I imagined myself moving back to Connecticut and settling into a classic New England home with my family and two Saint Bernard dogs.  Most of my childhood friends stayed in the tri-state area.  A recent trip back to Ridgefield brought back all of those thoughts and memories.  But, that was a fork in the road in life.  I never went back.  I opted for change on the road less traveled.  I moved to California and never looked back.  22 years in the Bay Area.  My reward — growth, learning, insight and entirely different path in life.

Fast forward 22 years, we were faced with another fork in the road.  Governor Gavin Newsom Issued the stay at home order on March 19, 2020.    That same week I watched a maintenance crews take town the basketball hoops to prevent folks from gathering in our local parks.  School and sports programs basically shut down and families huddled at home trying to figure out what would happen next.  My family and I made the hard decision to leave California for Park City, Utah that summer of 2020.  It was massive change and definitely the road less traveled.  We were living in a highly desirable Bay Area suburb for a mountain town where we knew no one and were not even Mormon.  We decided in June 2020 and were moved into our new home by August 2020.  I would say this was probably one of the best decisions we could have made at the time.  Park City, Utah has been tremendous for our family.  4 years in — we love it here.  We’ve grown and learned so much as a family and dodged some bullets along the way. 

If you are curious, here are some blog posts that document that ride —

• There is Life Outside of the Bay Area (Part #1)
• There is Life Outside of the Bay Area (Part #2)
• There is Life Outside of the Bay Area (Part #3)
• There is Life Outside of the Bay Area (Part #4)

In both the examples above, I should have just stayed in New York/Connecticut and we should have just stayed in California.  Change is good.  Find your own path.  Trust the universe. 

Survivorship bias would guide me to on providing the examples where the change I made worked out positively.  In reality, my life is filled with mistakes.  I could devote an entire blog post on just a mistakes I’ve made in life.  The most notable was when I quit my high paying technology job and decided to start location based, augmented reality game start up.  Oh yeah, our second child was born right around that time as well.  Did I mention I have the most supportive, loving and caring wife ever?  I wrote about that adventure in a previous blog post.  In summary, we raised some money, won several start up competitions, had a fun time but we were far too ahead of the curve.  It was a big fat failure and a crushing blow to my ego but looking back, I learned so much about that journey.  It was worth the change and risk but please don’t ask my wife. Haha. 

Peter Thiel, a prominent entrepreneur and venture capitalist, is best known for co-founding PayPal and Palantir Technologies, as well as being the first outside investor in Facebook. Thiel is also the author of “Zero to One,” a book that explores how to build successful startups and create innovative technologies. His influence extends across Silicon Valley, where he is regarded as a thought leader in technology and finance. One of his favorite interview questions, “Tell me something true that very few people agree with you on,” is designed to reveal a candidate’s ability to think independently and challenge conventional wisdom. This question tests not only originality and critical thinking but also the courage to hold and defend contrarian views, which Thiel believes is crucial for driving innovation and achieving groundbreaking success. This approach reflects Thiel’s own philosophy of seeking out and fostering unique ideas that have the potential to transform industries and society.

My answer to the question — Every company is a technology company with the proper leadership and mindset.  This isn’t limited to traditional Silicon Valley technology companies. Artificial intelligence pushes the assertion further with so many core business functions being disrupted.  I say this isn’t mainstream thinking because most companies still have business leaders running traditional IT functions and don’t think how they can make technology a strategic advantage. 

How would you answer Peter Thiel’s interview questions? 

Don’t be afraid to embrace change and find the road less traveled.  Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t but rest assured you’ll likely learn something new along the way and grow as a person.   

Thanks for reading.  Lots of stories.  Lots of reflection.  Find your change.  Take the road less traveled.  Growth, learning and insight will be your reward. 

-rjm